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Sassy Sienna Sista Hello my lovely lezzies…How was your pride celebrations this year? Let me tell all of you out there in queer cyber land that this was one of the best pride parades I have ever witnessed. I suppose you want to know why it was so special…well I'll tell you…because I was in it!!! … That's right, you read that correctly, yours truly graced all your adoring eyes with a fabulous appearance on the… ?-------------? float. Now seriously sweeties, did you really think I would reveal my secret but totally fabulous identity so easily… tsk…tsk…tsk…nothing cums that easy… (Well I always do after I finish watching "Shane" on The L Word...tee -hee) and now that I've had my Clark Kent / Superman moment we can get down to the topics at hand. I have to tell you about some things I observed during pride this year. Are you ready?…o.k. then lets go!! Pride Situation #1: Limitations of the Rainbow Lets be clear ladies, the pride rainbow symbolizes everything spectacular about being queer, from our utopian political standpoints to our spiritually divine "Queer-tution". I love to see the pride rainbow incorporated in the most creative of styles. For example, I saw a rainbow dyed Mohawk on the head of one of the dykes on bikes. (Kisses to all you deliciously hardcore ladies!) And I lived for all the rainbow airbrush art. Whether it was on a t-shirt or on a pair of fresh Nikes it's almost always urban and artistic. Now ladies I think there's a limit to the queer artistic expression when rainbow colored pubic hair enter the fashion equation. I kid you not…I had the unpleasant visual experience of being flashed a women's landing strip that was dyed our adored pride colors! I hope you giggled a little because it was a humorous situation but being the thinker and over analyzer that I am, the rainbow pubes consumed my thoughts. (And not in the good way.) I won't bore you with my pontifications but I will leave you with this one thought…Did the founders of the LGBTI liberation movement really intend the rainbow colors to include tacky pubic pride? Umm ..I think not ladies. The rainbow is artistically fun but deserves respect and therefore should not be reduced to pube decoration! Nuff said!!! Pride Situation # 2 : The Pride Weekend Hook-ups featuring "I'm Gay for the Weekend" The N.Y.C. pride parade is the most fan- tab-u-lous parade of the year. People literally come from all over the world to celebrate pride with the most politically, racially and sexually diverse gay crowd. With that said, you must acknowledge our straight allies. (My best friend was right with me…and kudos to all you fag hags and lesbros!) But I have to expose the "Les-pose-bians"! For those of you not familiar with this term allow me to formally acquaint you… Les-pose-bian - (n. / v.) women who will kiss , make -out, date, or have sex with another woman for pay, shock value, drunken debauchery , boredom trendiness, coolness or to make a man jealous; not for love or actual sexual preference. These les-pose-bians lurk and linger at all our most coveted spots. They want to be down when the going isn't so rough and pride weekend is the easiest weekend in NYC to be queer and they love being along for a joyride. But ladies, you must be careful because no matter how many rainbows they are wearing, how many L-Word facts they know, how well they kiss or make-out like a real lesbian …Trust me on Monday after pride Sunday they are back on the breeder train; planning to exercise their "exclusive" legal right to marry their boyfriends in amerikkka!! Watch out ladies…. they are out there!!(dum dum dummm) Situation # 3: WE ARE AMAZING !!! The last thing I wanted to say was Thank You! Thank you for contributing to another amazing pride celebration. From the parades for mermaids to the marches packed with fiery eyed dykes. It was amazing! When the rain threatened our fun, we danced and partied like NYC was as sunny as the south of Spain. It was amazing! When we came together in solidarity for our brother in pain Kevin Aviance. It was amazing! How we partied on the pier with one goal in mind…to celebrate our proud, loving, happy queer existence in this crazy world! It was amazing and I can't wait for Pride 07'! -Your sista in the struggle who loves to snuggle- The Sassy Sienna Sista past columns: STRAIGHT GIRLS ARE STRAIGHT!!! EX-GIRLFRIEND |